𝗜 𝘀𝘂𝗿𝘃𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝗮 𝗯𝗼𝘀𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗮 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝗮 𝘃𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸, 𝘀𝗼 𝗜 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗛𝗥 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝘂𝗹𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁.
Young, scared of losing my job, bullied.
My narcissistic boss taught me everything I know about leadership today.
Workforces are made of many different type of people who all have different experiences in life.
And my experience was one of hurt and pain, losing something I couldn't believe I was being given.
In such a situation, we expect leaders to:
↳ show support: genuine support, I don't just mean a 'sorry this happened' email
↳ show compassion: understanding and recognising the emotions I was feeling at the time
↳ be understanding: work doesn't come first, especially while I deal with this
But instead I was met with:
❌ frustration: time of to recover was too much to ask apparently
❌ inconsideration: the MoD contract mattered more than my health and wellbeing
❌ threats: "if you don't return the laptop I'll call the police" - FYI, he did just that
It shaped me, hugely, and to be honest, I didn't realise all of this was becoming trauma.
It shaped who I would be and how I would carry myself to work.
Even years after this ordeal I always worried bosses thought I was less capable if I ever needed to be off work for family related matters. In the same breath, I would frown upon the bosses that treated others they was I was treated by my narcissistic boss and often. I needed to be better.
Then it hit me.
I realised that I need to create change. Bad managers are bad because they are"
↳ ignorant
↳ blind-sided
↳ have tunnel vision
↳ cannot innovate
↳ they cant think strategically
↳ have low emotional intelligence
↳ have no leadership abilities whatsoever
So, I fought myself into rooms where i challenged perceptions, scrutinised thoughts, and offered solutions. I educated managers on how to lead effectively, how to encourage high performance and how to navigate difficult employees issues.
Wow, I became a HR professional and an expert in leadership after years of studying, qualifying, practical application, and data collection.
If you're a manager who's struggling, that's ok. This is a no judgement zone.
You CAN be better and it doesn't have to cost the business.
Founder of HR Habitat, award winner of "Best HR & Employment Law Consultancy, 2024" title. As featured in BBC Oline, BBC Asian Network Radio, Telegraph & more.
